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    Friday, January 1st, 2010
    dorjejaguar
    3:11a
    Thank you for all and any kindnesses.
    You are loved, by myself, of course imperfectly, but still loved.
    dorjejaguar
    3:04a

    Litany To Satan

    by Charles Baudelaire, translation by James Elroy Flecker
    ~~~~

    O grandest of the Angels, and most wise,
    O fallen God, fate-driven from the skies,
    Satan, at last take pity on our pain.

    O first of exiles who endurest wrong,
    Yet growest, in thy hatred, still more strong,
    Satan, at last take pity on our pain!

    O subterranean King, omniscient,
    Healer of man’s immortal discontent,
    Satan, at last take pity on our pain.

    To lepers and to outcasts thou dost show
    That Passion is the Paradise below.
    Satan, at last take pity on our pain.

    Thou by thy mistress Death hast given to man
    Hope, the imperishable courtesan.
    Satan, at last take pity on our pain.

    Thou givest to the Guilty their calm mien
    Which damns the crowd around the guillotine.
    Satan, at last take pity on our pain.

    Thou knowest the corners of the jealous Earth
    Where God has hidden jewels of great worth.
    Satan, at last take pity on our pain.

    Thou dost discover by mysterious signs
    Where sleep the buried people of the mines.
    Satan, at last take pity on our pain.

    Thou stretchest forth a saving hand to keep
    Such men as roam upon the roofs in sleep.
    Satan, at last take pity on our pain.

    Thy power can make the halting Drunkard’s feet
    Avoid the peril of the surging street.
    Satan, at last take pity on our pain.

    Thou, to console our helplessness, didst plot
    The cunning use of powder and of shot.
    Satan, at last take pity on our pain.

    Thy awful name is written as with pitch
    On the unrelenting foreheads of the rich.
    Satan, at last take pity on our pain.

    In strange and hidden places thou dost move
    Where women cry for torture in their love.
    Satan, at last take pity on our pain.

    Father of those whom God’s tempestuous ire
    Has flung from Paradise with sword and fire,
    Satan, at last take pity on our pain.


    Prayer
     

    Satan, to thee be praise upon the Height
    Where thou wast king of old, and in the night
    Of Hell, where thou dost dream on silently.
    Grant that one day beneath the Knowledge-tree,
    When it shoots forth to grace thy royal brow,
    My soul may sit, that cries upon thee now.


     

    Thursday, December 31st, 2009
    dorjejaguar
    11:27a
    Hunger, hope, demand, need....
    Wednesday, December 30th, 2009
    dorjejaguar
    2:04p
    It's past my bedtime, it's in my sleeptime but I am not asleep. I tried, really I did.
    I don't wanta get outta bed either though cause it's cold.
    And kitty is hanging out with me and that's nice.
    Hmm. What now?
    dorjejaguar
    3:58a
    Baron Samadhi's Astrology

    "The Lunar Eclipse on NYE is on the Cancer end of the equation, with the Solar Eclipse on January 15th being the Capricorn side. The Lunar eclipse in Cancer is on the South Node, Ketu, the Dragon’s tail. Ketu devours old attachments. It is essentially subtractive, bringing up the emotional attachments in order to dissolve them. It disintegrates the egoic bonds which bind us to certain feelings, liberating the energy. It’s a helluva good time to be a Buddhist.

    Archetypally, it is the hellmouth of the Great Mother that we are confronted with. The universe breathes in, and the 10,001 forms of manifestation are sucked back into the burning gate, where they will be broken down to a prima materia fit for molding new forms. It is the breakdown of form in order to create the possibility of new forms. It is intensely personal, karmic, and necessary."

    More here: http://baronastrology.com/
    or here: http://blogs.myspace.com/baronsamadhi
    dorjejaguar
    3:49a
    Wild China
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sn/tvradio/programmes/wildchina/

    This series Wild China is beautiful and it's available streaming on Netflix.
    It's lovely really. :)
    Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
    dorjejaguar
    3:05p
    Ooo! My dance class is only two weeks away! :)
    Yay.
    dorjejaguar
    2:31p
    Good advice:

    SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You Sagittarians may wander farther and
    wider than the other signs of the zodiac, and you may get itchier when
    required to stay in one place too long, but you still need a sense of
    belonging. Whether that comes from having a certain building where you
    feel comfortable or a wilderness that evokes your beloved
    adventurousness or a tribe that gives you a sense of community, you
    thrive when you're in regular touch with a homing signal that keeps you
    grounded. According to my analysis, 2010 will be prime time for you to
    find or create or renew your connection to a source that serves this
    purpose well.
    http://FreeWillAstrology.com
    dorjejaguar
    11:38a
    Needing people is confusing to me.
    I'm thinking it runs counter to early training.
    The training doesn't make it any less real though cause I do.
    Monday, December 28th, 2009
    dorjejaguar
    5:48a
    Watching a movie about, well about health. It's called The Beautiful Truth.
    I haven't finished it yet but it is intriguing.
    http://www.thebeautifultruthmovie.com/

    Now I wanta check out Dr. Gerson's work and I'd like perhaps as many as 4 of my teeth pulled and maybe some filling removal too. Definitely also interested in looking into metal detox even if I don't get all those fillings out. If I can't get em all out it makes sense to up my body's capacity for detox and healing in spite of them. To that end: http://www.hbci.com/~wenonah/new/9steps.htm

    So far I'm hearing something that sounds similar to this dudes work: Raymond Francis: http://www.consciousmedianetwork.com/members/rfrancis.htm
    I've been thinking about buying supplements from his site as well.
    http://www.beyondhealth.com/

    The simple story is that there are two causes of unwellness and that's toxicity and deficiency. That is the body getting what's not good for it and not getting enough of what is good for it.

    Anyhoo, back to the movie.
    dorjejaguar
    2:12a
    I miss my boo. :(
    Sunday, December 27th, 2009
    dorjejaguar
    9:53p
    We are not less valuable or precious in our moments of confusion, sadness or struggle nor more valuable in our moments of accomplishment and success. We just enjoy the one side more than the other.

    Here's to that place behind, between and through the - and the +.
    dorjejaguar
    8:28p
    Well, waking up is definitely better than the dreams. Sure I'd like a hug from my boo to chase the dreams away but kitty is being wonderful cute. And I got tea and a hot bath running. It's gonna be okay.
    dorjejaguar
    10:36a
    I seem to be having a Dr.Who marathon. Can't seem to stop.
    Maybe I'll sleep soon, maybe I won't.

    Somebody knocked on the door earlier, but didn't wait for me to get there. I saw a disgruntled looking man walking on the street just past my yard when I got there then he headed for my neighbors door.

    This is the second time this week someone knocked but didn't wait long enough for someone to get to the door. Things take time. That's the way it works. I don't expect anyone to want to hang out in that windy cold though.
    Friday, December 25th, 2009
    dorjejaguar
    2:53a
    A child who knows what she wants:


    "I am not sitting on his lap. Take the fucking picture then we're outta here! Oh, and ps, you suck."

    Maybe all that red doesn't help, maybe white helps:

    Perhaps color therapy would help this traditional horrible experience move along more nicely.

    I'm so festive!
    :)

    Yah, I am seriously, we had paella, yay us. And sake too. :)


    Pics from http://www.sketchysantas.com/
    dorjejaguar
    2:32a


    Have we stopped torturing our kids for tradition yet?

    A prayer for the new year, for the next thousand years and beyond: That we learn to stop torturing our children and ourselves and each other for any reason at all, that we learn and practice kindness most often, enough so torture becomes extinct.

    Love you, love me, love love love.

    Yah, I know, I'm not so festive, but I hold high wishes in my heart and I believe we all do. May we tend to that fire until there is heaven on earth and keep on and on and on...
    Thursday, December 24th, 2009
    dorjejaguar
    8:19p
    Remember these?

    "Do they know it's Christmas time at all?"


    "We are the World"


    I'm possessed at times with uncontrollable giggling when I watch these. Yes I do still agree with the sentiment, Africa could clearly use some help still, but the lyrics "There'll be no snow in Africa this Christmastime.." When was that ever true, eh? Except maybe on Mt. Kilimanjaro or something, where it's even more true now cause THE GLACIERS ARE MELTING.

    Ahem. *giggle*

    Here some orgs that are doing good work there and elsewhere:
    One: http://www.one.org/us/
    Red: http://www.joinred.com/Splash.aspx
    Charity:Water http://www.charitywater.org/

    Isn't Boy George cute? Cyndy Lauper too, cute cute cute. :) Still cute too.
    dorjejaguar
    7:53p
    It's almost strange how the holiday resonates no strings in me.
    Doesn't seem normal.
    But I'm happy for my friends with their time off from school and work and their good foods and cozyness.
    That's pretty cool.
    We got some good foods and a couple days together free too. It's nice.
    Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009
    dorjejaguar
    11:32p
    fantasy conversation
    "What are you thinking?"

    "Nothing much."

    "What's wrong?! I know something's wrong!"

    "Well *now* it is. Geez."
    dorjejaguar
    9:35p
    The Stranglers - Golden Brown


    I love this song. And yes I do know what it's about but it sounds much much prettier than getting addicted.
    I wonder how long I could play this song on loop before I get tired of it. I love it that much. :)

    By the way D, wild lettuce doesn't really compare. Maybe if I took more. Not that it matters, I'm really only curious.
    dorjejaguar
    9:10p


    The Stranglers - Midnight Summer Dream

    Woke up on a good day
    And the world was wonderful
    A midnight summer dream had me in its spell

    I dreamt about an old man
    Sat and watched the rain all night
    He couldn't sleep a wink as all the drops fell

    He told me of the beauty
    Hidden in our foreheads
    He told me of the ugliness
    We show instead

    And when we put a foot wrong do we learn
    From all the pain
    A midnight summer dream as he watched the rain

    Then at midnight he poured another drink
    And bent my ear
    After midnight we sat up half the night
    Or maybe more
    And he began to tell me what it was all for

    I woke up in an armchair
    He had gone I don't know where
    Left me there to sit and look at the rain

    Don't remember much at all
    But his words were echoing
    A midnight summer dream and then wake again

    Maybe I'll never find him
    Maybe he's gone forever
    Maybe I'll have to sit here
    Watching the weather

    One thing's pretty certain helped me
    Make it in the night
    Showed me somewhere else besides wrong and right

    And at midnight if you can't sleep
    Then I can bend your ear
    After midnight we'll sit up half the night
    Or maybe more
    And I'll begin to tell you what it is all for

    Wake up on a good day
    And the world feels wonderful
    Midnight summer dream has me in its spell
    dorjejaguar
    8:42p
    Slept a couple more hours than I thought I would.
    Had a dream with a friend in it that sticks with me.
    Avocado pits. That's code for subject matter in my dream.
    It's for to remind me.
    dorjejaguar
    8:19a
    We've got lots of moss now in the backyard. I wonder if it'll stay through the summer.
    I prefer mosses and clover to grass.

    It's fancy looking, kinda wooly. Reminds me of some seaweed. Looks edible but I really don't know what it is.
    dorjejaguar
    5:46a
    Urg. Boredom.
    Tell me what if anything has been inspiring you lately. Please.
    Monday, December 21st, 2009
    dorjejaguar
    9:07a
    acupuncture
    This sounds awesome.
    http://www.workingclassacupuncture.org/

    "Working Class Acupuncture's mission is to use acupuncture to create social change in health care. We provide, and advocate for others to provide, accessible acupuncture for working class patients; we support acupuncturists in being social entrepreneurs; and we share our business model for natural health care that empowers patients, builds community and breaks down class divisions.

    Our sliding scale is $15 - $35 per treatment.* You decide what you can afford. Working Class Acupuncture strives to make acupuncture affordable for you to come as often and for as long as needed in order to feel better!"

    I haven't been there yet but I've a feeling I'll be going there soon.

    ~~~
    This reminds me, Outside In does have an oriental medicine student clinic. Treatments there can be as low as 10 dollars with free herbal medicines as well.
    http://www.outsidein.org/acupuncture.htm
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